Author Topic: My Dad passed away this morning...  (Read 541 times)

Dave Winfield

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My Dad passed away this morning...
« on: June 26, 2015, 07:45:44 PM »
wasn't going to say anything about it, but it kind of slipped out in another forum post.

Not looking for sympathy or a long list of messages from people.
And please...I am not religious.
Let me just say thanks for your private thoughts.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I didn't have a great relationship with my father.
And he didn't like me much either.
But I love my Mom...and she loved him...so there ya go.

Things were better when I was younger, since we shared a lot of the same interests and hobbies.
I bring him up, because my earliest memories of him involve scale models and model trains.
He supported my plastic model building hobby when I was a kid
and he bought me my first Hot Wheels set in 1968.
(Thats why I thought it would be nice to mention him here...he was a fellow modeler and toy collector)

He suffered from Dementia (Alzheimers) for the last five years
combined with life long poor physical health (lack of exercise, overweight, high sugar intake, etc).
For some, 78 years, might seem like a long run...but I think it could have been much longer if he had taken better care of himself.

(Listen to me preach...and I smoked for 30 years, am 50lbs overweight, and don't exercise enough. lol)

Anyway, Alzheimers took away his life many years ago...this last year was, in many ways, a pointless existence.
Thats what dementia does. It saps the ability to exist in any sort of reality. Leaving you to live in a dream state.
Unfortunately it also saps your ability to do the most basic of functions...like swallow food.
My Father had not eaten for over a week and eventually he succumbed to starvation, dehydration and breathing issues.
Only good thing about it is the fact that he slept through almost all of it.

He was in Hospital...under medical care, and as comfortable as one could be.
As I said, he was asleep almost constantly...and I don't think he was aware or in any pain.

Toughest part is watching my Mother lose her husband and partner of 57 years. (Last weekend was their anniversary)

...
Didn't mean to bring everyone down.
If you have kids...tell them you love them right now.



DAVE WINFIELD - GO TO WWW.CUTANDFOLD.INFO FOR MY DESIGNS AND LOTSA FREE STUFF!

Vermin King

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Re: My Dad passed away this morning...
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2015, 07:58:37 PM »
I'm truly sorry that your relationship with your dad wasn't a better one.  Me and my Pa are kind of hit and miss, but okay.  I hope that your mom will recover from her loss, and I'm sure you will do what you can to help.  We'll definitely be thinking about you and your family and wishing you the best.
There are no strangers in this world ...
Only people I haven't embarrassed ... yet

Tapcho

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Re: My Dad passed away this morning...
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2015, 11:16:26 PM »
We are at the age when deaths in the family are inevitable. I'm currently helping two elderly family members my father (85 yrs) and her sister (92) - shopping aid, transport help etc. My father has mild state of dementia but her sister still has all the indians in the canoe.

Death in the family is never easy, all sorts of new things and arrangements evolve from it. You Dave have your Dads looks and many fond memories of him too despite everything else. Fathers and sons - I know the story. I live it myself.

Best wishes to you and your dear ones,

Tappi

Kevin WS

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Re: My Dad passed away this morning...
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2015, 01:30:08 AM »
So it goes......

As Tappi says it is never easy, but sometimes also, given the circumstances it is also for the best.

Keep your mum as busy as possible in the interim, maybe rearrange the house too and so on.

Keeping someone busy in the short term, regardless of whether they want to be or not, really helps lessen the immediate grief. And in the medium term if she is not working make certain she has a job - volunteer work is fine.

Now go enjoy the weekend keeping mother busy - go for a weekend drive somewhere!

Oliver Bizer

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Re: My Dad passed away this morning...
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2015, 02:11:58 PM »
That I am very sorry for you. A lot of power, I wish your family!
Sorry for my english, i come from Germany

chunder

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Re: My Dad passed away this morning...
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2015, 05:10:21 PM »
Great relationship with your father or not it still is a heart breaking loss (I know)

Thinking of you & your family
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again (Henry Ford)

Loui

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Re: My Dad passed away this morning...
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2015, 02:40:48 PM »
" ...because my earliest memories of him involve scale models and model trains.
He supported my plastic model building hobby when I was a kid"

... beutifully said, sorry for your lost and wishing you the best.